How to prepare for the super-cool-as-shit #MarsRover landing

1) Get some extra sleep. Take a nap, whatever. You’ll need the energy later, although you might be running on some of those Xmas fumes you ran on when you were a kid on Xmas eve. Stay away from caffeine….it’s dumb. You’ll just need more.

2) Be sure to watch all of the NASA briefings, livestreams, etc. Screw going out to eat or wasting cash on a movie. Gather your (fur) kids around you. This is better than Church, and is real.

3) Prepare supper. I’m making my sweet chicken, veggies and rice stuff. Easy to make, good to go, better than getting a greasy burger. You don’t want to be on the toilet while we are discovering really cool stuff.

4) If you want to watch it on the official NASA station stream thingy, get your HDMI cord NOW. Find it. You don’t run directly into your TV normally, so find it now. Plug that in and get the laptop ready.

5) Eat and stuff.

6) Write your articles or do your bills or whatever now. Sure, you’ll have time tomorrow, but barely. Get some roughs out of your head and onto virtual paper. You’ll be tired tomorrow so get the heavy lifting done now. If you work out-of-home (in an..off…offess…offets…however you say it) make your calling-in-sick excuse now. Make a back-up one. Shit, just don’t call in. When you finally DO call at the end of the day, you can act like you were SUPER sick and passed out. The day will be over and although they were mad at you earlier they’ll be on the “the day is OVER” high and will be all like “It’s OK, just see you tomorrow. And try to call in next time.” and you can hang up and laugh.

7) Make sure the wife/husband/siggy is excited. They are, but they are very busy. Tell them that they promise to show that Alceed (however you spell it) guy from True Blood on the surface of Mars, nakie. Might help when she is all like “Cool, yell at me when there’s an update.” as she logs in to stomp trolls.

8) Resist writing about how science is the only thing that will save us from the shackles of organized religion and sports hero worship. Save it for later.

8) Watch that shit. Remember,  this is science. Easiest way to become excited? Easy: think about 178.4 years ago. Think about people who lived then. Seriously, think for a second. They LIVED then. They moved around, breathed, farted, ate, worried, and worked his or her tail off. That’s kind of cool, huh? Think further back…all the way back to the middle ages and stuff. Seriously….people LIVED then. They did a lot of what we do today, but they had no idea how stuff worked. They believed in monsters and stuff. Then…SCIENCE. Well, sort of. I cut out some stuff.

Think about what science has done for us. But, even better, think about how much we have changed since those olden days! We’ve made huge leaps in technology and we’re super smart and we can send a rover to Mars now!

Of course, the next step is to think about 178.4 from NOW. All of our modern-day achievements will be laughably primitive. (Well, if we’re still around and some religious nut doesn’t hasn’t destroyed us all.) There will be people then (hopefully, see previous sentence) and they will breathe, poop, explore, worry, cry and do all of things we do now. Think about 500 YEARS FROM NOW. Seriously…think about what our technology will look like and how exciting it might be. How would it be possible?

Because of SCIENCE.

 

Beau