Of Ikea and Plastic: A Pictorial Essay

 

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We set all of these to 30 seconds and ran.

 

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Each one of these was filled with a tiny, deadly cobra.

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Pssh, they wanted 4 bucks for this bedspread and it didn’t even cover me.

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There was a naked lady behind here.

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I ran my fingers through this and they came out covered in boogers.

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Bessie, NOOOO!

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I didn’t like Shih Tzus anyway.

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You can’t tell, but it’s playing The Cars “Who’s Gonna Drive You Home Tonight?”

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I told Leala “Hey, this is your section.” and she told me she’d be in the divorce section.

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Holy shit, a lady LIVES here.

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None of these sold because they smelled like farts.

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See?

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That was our box up there. They gave us a step ladder and a back-brace.

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I was going to caption this one “100% horsemeat? 100% delicious!” but some doofus noticed me snapping a pic and said “Huh, yeah. That is a good deal!”