Of Ikea and Plastic: A Pictorial Essay

 

picture029-001
We set all of these to 30 seconds and ran.

 

picture030-001
Each one of these was filled with a tiny, deadly cobra.
picture031-001
Pssh, they wanted 4 bucks for this bedspread and it didn’t even cover me.
picture032-001
There was a naked lady behind here.
picture033-001
I ran my fingers through this and they came out covered in boogers.
picture034-001
Bessie, NOOOO!
picture035-001
I didn’t like Shih Tzus anyway.
picture036-002
You can’t tell, but it’s playing The Cars “Who’s Gonna Drive You Home Tonight?”
picture037-001
I told Leala “Hey, this is your section.” and she told me she’d be in the divorce section.
picture038-001
Holy shit, a lady LIVES here.
picture039-001
None of these sold because they smelled like farts.
picture040-001
See?
picture041-001
That was our box up there. They gave us a step ladder and a back-brace.
picture042
I was going to caption this one “100% horsemeat? 100% delicious!” but some doofus noticed me snapping a pic and said “Huh, yeah. That is a good deal!”

Published by

Beau Hindman

I write for a living, which means that I sit around in my PJs all day. I love it. www.beauhindman.com