Bill Cosby is a genius (and other survival tips for my Internet experience.)
(This blog was fired off after a few incidents. Firstly, my calling out of a wanna-be “shock-jock” that spent his time yelling about how bad a game was while he played the game. Then, a run-in with a community member that thinks herself as some kind of representative of every group out there ( “You can’t take away my gay card just because I’m married!” ) and then a recent line-in-the-sand drawn after a guild mate of my wife’s decided that his podcast was somehow funny when really it was just bland and unoriginal for using certain naughty words. Also, another member of my wife’s new guild used the name “Mypenus” for his character and became angry after someone reported him, as though the possibility of finding your 13 year old daughter chatting with some weirdo named “Mypenus” in a childrens game should have been just shrugged off.)
There are, needless to say, some very creepy people online. In fact, I would wager that right now there are people that I think I know pretty well that are some very creepy people. I would like to think that I have pretty well-equipped creep radar, but let’s be honest and say that none of us truly know each other until we know each other.
We shouldn’t be surprised when someone turns out to be nuts, or when someone we thought as cool turns out to be…well, even more nuts.
So in all of my web-space living I try to maintain a certain distance from creepy elements. While I like to pride myself on being honest and open with how me and Leala talk and live, the last thing I would want to do is put that openness above our safety. So I had to make some basic rules to follow, and that seems to have helped.
1) If someone starts to act creepy, they go on the giant “ignore” list. This is easy, I simply bump them off any friends list or block them from having any access to anything that is mine. While there are plenty of places to find out information about me, I have worked pretty hard to make the virtual borders of my virtual spaces pretty darn secure. Me and Leala will talk about this on an upcoming show, but I have found that it is far easier to go ahead and block any interactions with someone as soon as I think they even might be that type of weirdo than to wait until they prove it. Have I thought this about certain people and been wrong before? I am sure I have, but let’s be honest here and say that there are millions of friends to be had online. I won’t regret losing one unless they have already been proven a true friend.
2) As soon as someone mentions being associated with any “griefer” groups, they are on the ignore list. In an example, if anyone on MMO Voices mentions being part of one of the many griefer groups that exist throughout various games, they would be banned from the site and all other areas of my life. A couple years ago when GAX was going pretty strong, a few people started mentioning “hacking” groups. When I expressed concern for having such nut-jobs around, a few people told me where and how to find (and some even showed me) their posting boards/websites that bragged about such exploits as placing large pictures of male naughty-bits all over forums for certain online childrens games. I saw the threads talking about it, and talked to a few people that took part in it or knew someone that did. Needless to say, if anyone even mentions even being a “hacker” around me or any of my sites, they would be gone. More than likely they are just some dumb kid that thinks that hacking means to ninja loot something, but I take no chances with creeps.
Also, as I have noted before, there are connections between followers of every type. I don’t like followers. I like individuals that might work together, but not mindless followers. In fact, I find almost no sin greater than not using your own brain and decision making skills, and on the internet no other characteristic should be more valued than individuality. Members of these hacking/griefing groups are nothing but bored kids with no creativity, and I want nothing to do with them.
3) If someone uses the word “rape” in everyday conversation, they are on the ignore list. I do not tolerate in anyway the changing of the meaning of this word from what it truly is to how someone describes playing a game. If you really look at what they are trying to say and the circumstances in which they usually saying it, you will get nothing but massive displeasure out of hearing it. Unfortunately, people have been popping up left and right to use this word.
4) If someone prides themselves on being a “critic” of online gaming (since these interactions are basically all about online gaming) while they play the online games, they get the ignore. This is not to say that you cannot criticize online gaming or games, or developers. This is just saying that if you are in the habit of doing nothing but whining, complaining, criticizing and moaning about this hobby, then we have no business talking.
5) Anyone that claims to be a member of a hyper-sensitive ultra-liberal group: You will find no one more liberal than me when it comes to animal rights, gay/lesbian/transgendered rights, racial equality and any other of the staple groups that, you know, want or need those rights. But when you run a hyper-sensitive all girl Fem blog (and forbid the use of the word “guys”) then you are cut out immediately. These are the girls and boys that never did anything fun in their life, so connecting to a hyper-sensitive group will give them all the drama they need. They have issues with everything, yet want to be part of every group possible. The last person I had a run-in over this with is in a straight marriage but wants to be considered gay. Fine, that’s possible. Then she wants to pick and choose the parts of football that are sexist, so that she can enjoy the games guilt free (after all, being one of the boys is fun too!) Then she wants to love her horses and wants to stand for animal rights but wants to ignore the obvious animal cruelty that goes on behind horse racings door so that she can she can hang with that crowd. People like this have an explanation for everything, but never just admit it and say “OK, so I like something that might not be normally cool with me. I’m human.”
There are many other criteria, I am sure. And while I do not think that being involved with me is any cooler than being involved with anyone else, (probably less cool!) these are rules I have set for myself. Make your own. Set your standards.
I look at my existence online as something to be very thankful for, and as something that will only become more common as technology drives the internet into places we never thought it would be. There will be more people online in an hour from now than there are now, and more tomorrow, and even more the next day. In a world with such freedoms, there is not a better place for standards.
And yes, I am very aware of the powers of free speech. This is not about that. In America, we have free speech. Still, you cannot walk down the street yelling at the top of your lungs at 3:30 AM, no matter what you are saying. And yes, certain types of speech are prohibited because of the fact that you are saying them in a public place. Free Speech does not mean that you can push your thoughts or words down other peoples throats everywhere and at all times.
And the same goes for the internet. Just because you can say something does not mean that you have the right to do it anywhere. In fact people that push those boundaries for some kind of shock-tactic reasons are actually the enemies of the internet. Their lack of self control will eventually force the government to step in to take control of the situation. Do you expect the powers that be to just sit by while 19 year old griefers post pictures of male naughty-bits on the forums for a childrens game?
So make your own rules and have your standards. Also understand that as you read this there are reasons for me posting this even if you never see the examples I am talking about. I have many, many interactions with people online in many different forms (just like anyone that does what we do.)
I am drawing the line. I will not virtually hang around certain types of people, and will not encourage ridiculous behavior simply because it can be done online.
I want to close out this long strange blog with a thought, a comparison of two different comedians that will hopefully drive my point home. First, we have Bill Cosby, one of the funniest men alive. Watch this clip:
Bill Cosby is different than a comedian, he is a performance artist. In that clip there were only two words spoken: “Challenge” and “YAY!” And watch as he takes his turn dancing. Each time is unique and different than the last. A few of the turns make you think: “Wait, he just DID that..” but then he turns it on it’s ear.Try telling 5 different version of the same simple knock-knock joke, and avoid the use of swear words. It’s hard. It takes creativity.
On the other hand, we have Richard Pryor. While I do think that Richard Pryor was groundbreaking and hilarious, even he had issues with the use of certain words, namely the N word. (I will not type it here or place a clip to his comedy. Many of my readers read from work or around children. I respect that.) After a trip to Africa he became very aware of how the word still held meaning for millions of people, and still carried weight. While it was just a word, it represented so many things. After Richard Pryor became more aware of his fame, he started to reflect on his public image as anyone else would do. ( NOTE: Some of the podcasters/bloggers I know have used the “it’s just a word” defense. In that case, I challenge them to use the worst racist/homophobic language they know on their shows/blogs. They will not, of course, because they know exactly what I am talking about.)
Bill Cosby could have went the way of Richard Pryor and worked blue. But instead he created his own language, his own sense of timing and used words other than the shocking words of the day (occasionally he did use a curse word, though. And who knows what he said in his private life.) to make his points. He talked about common everyday life things, like being a dad or a husband.
Bill Cosby represents what I want the Internet to become when I am in it. I want to be in spaces that are from the Bill Cosby school of thought, meaning that they are creative, original and not reliant on common phrases or shocking terms to say what could have been said in a million other ways.
And look at the most popular black comedians of the day, now. Chris Rock, Katt Williams, and the big fat guy that wears really big suits. How far has their act come from the days of Richard Pryor? In the meanwhile, Cosby did his thing and didn’t apologize for his art. He didn’t feel the need to have “street cred” because he knew, like we all do, that street cred means that you spent your life on the street. If any of us had a choice we would rather not be there, and that’s the truth.
So if you want on my ignore list be unoriginal, boring, mindless and a follower. Go ahead and be “shocking” and think that you are doing something that has never been done before. Go ahead and be hyper-sensitive while simultaneously maintaining a life of enjoying those things that you gripe about. And go ahead and try to convince me that you speak the way you do on your podcast even around your children.
Anyway, I’m off to watch some Cosby. That guy had guts.
Beau
Feel better now?
I agree with most of that, by the way, although not all of it.
One part I wholeheartedly agree on is your position on the current fad for applying the word “rape” inappropriately. How do you stand on the use of “gay” to mean ” a bad thing” (as in “They’re nerfing Shadowknights? That’s gay!”) ?
Wow – that’s a punctuation storm at the end there!
hi beau!
i agree with you. I have only been playing mmo’s for a couple of years, but i have been shocked (and it’s pretty hard to shock me) at how the word rape and “thats so gay” get thrown around chat, not to mention really horrible racist crap. I also cannot believe all the bitching, whining and complaining that goes on..I’m all for debate, but really…just play something else. There are a million games out there.
As far as always monitoring content because of The Children..well..I get it I guess, but you can keep it in PM or /whisper, if you really have to discuss your penis. I do think that as adults, we forget that these are games..geared towards kids..but I personally would never let a young child play an mmorpg without some serious watching-over..These games arent babysitters any more than the TV should be, but what do i know..I dont have any kids.
I have witnessed some seriously creepy behavior also..everything from being “stalked” to outright verbal abuse. There are all kinds of sick puppies on the internet, these games are no different.
I think youre right about setting your own standards, and also not getting sucked into a pointless merry-go-round “debate” with anyone who just wants to argue about being “right”..you know..its like that saying..do you wanna be right, or do you wanna be happy? /ignore cuts right to the chase. Getting into it with some people is like pouring gasoline on a fire..and thats just what they want. Not engaging is the best defense…so thanks again for setting your own standards, and setting an example of how this stuff can work in a productive, creative way. That might be the most subversive of all.
You guys Rawk!
I love the /ignore command. Fire and forget.
Cosby rules.
Thanks for the comments guys. I should make an entire post all about Cosby and his life lessons. lol
Hi Beau!
I love your work! “So make your own rules and have your standards”
Done and done!
No swearing though, I did it again!
I know this is offtopic but since you are playing DF here are some news that you should munch on
New Player Protection being introduced to DF
http://forums.darkfallonline.com/showthread.php?t=233778
seems like enough info to make a blogg out of??
Yeh man, as soon as I am home from work, it’s blogging time. I am actually going to do a review for Ablegamers.com, so this will fit right in.
I have no idea what you are trying to say here. Maybe explain it a bit? I’ll take a stab at it and think that you are implying that I said “Do Not Swear.” I never did. And then it seems that you are claiming to make your own rules and standards. OK, congrats on that?
But what’s with the “I did it again?” part? If you are going to comment/compliment/insult (?) you need to make sense man! Work with me here! lol
Beau
Perhaps it was a little cryptic…
I first employed ‘sarcasm’ by stating I loved your work. Honestly I find it rather pretentious to claim that only your opinion on what is humorous and what isn’t. If Bill Cosby’s humor is what makes your laugh, by all means. Other people just may not share your view. There is a distinct difference in language used to demean, abuse and otherwise segregate people based on race, sex, or lifestyle choice and vulgarity. Comparing the two is apples and oranges.
Secondly, I quoted your advice to “So make your own rules and have your standards” as I have done so, and will continue to. I just found that sentence a bit misplaced as you have so stringently tried to advise otherwise with the rest of your post. Depending on which message you meant to deliver, congrats or open your eyes.
Finally, I used hyperbole to show that I was able to speak in a manner that followed all of your proposed tips to surviving the internet. (You could also refer to me retweeting your post while implying the martyrdom of your crusade) without stumbling back into the habits that make me a “guy who lives up to the white trash d-bag stereotype” (Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?)
See? Why didn’t you just post something like that before? That wasn’t so hard.
EDIT: I have never once said that my choice of humor was the correct one. You need to work on your reading comprehension. I think it’s cute that you have taken up this as some kind of cause, but don’t worry about it. Just understand that you have taken your meaning out of what I have said, and not the real meaning.
is the shock jock who I think it is? If so he is the only reasonable voice about WoW out there that doesnt lick the feet of Blizzard like most podcasts do, but he is also for the more hard core player.
Casuals dont care about what he has to say. Im not sure if this is what you are speaking of but I agree with the rest of the post, except that. He does also give kudos to Blizzard when they do well. But it is hard to disagree that 90% of the games populace is made up of idiots
This is what all the craziness was about? Wow! Drove people freaking nuts on Twitter. Anyways, I’m here, so here’s my 2 cents. I think it’s a unique way of handling the internet, I’m assuming you’ve already run the gambit of trying other ways and decided on this. It at least appears that quite a bit of thought has gone through before going, “Yeah, I’m gonna block the following people out of my online life.” Maybe I’m wrong, maybe you just did it, either way it’s your choice and it blows me away how people reacted.
Honestly, I’ve been a huge advocate of, “Your site, your rules.” The thing that usually ticks me off is that most people don’t list their “rules” on their site and so you have to guess what they ‘might-not-like’ on their site. You listed it out quite plainly, more or less saying, do these things and get the ignore.
My thoughts on this standard are dubious, I don’t really hold standards, maybe I’m just lazy. I’ll admit it, I work for a living already, I don’t want to make more work out of my hobby of gaming and podcasting. So I let the love and hate come in side-by-side, but it does take some thick skin to, more or less manually ignore, pointless, shocking or just plain dumb rants and posts. Most people will go off the handle which is what was seen earlier.
Anyways, before this becomes some pointless speech instead of comment, I’m going to end this. I want to apologize to both of you if I did anything; I did one #iamoffended tweet long before I even knew what was going on. Needless to say today has just been, one of those days.
No problem. Thanks for understanding.
As far as comments go, no one has free speech when it comes to violent, racist, homophobic, sexist, insulting or outright argumentative remarks on this site.
This post is about boundries. We all have to set them for ourselves then if someone crosses those, internet “friend” or stranger, they are no longer a part of our existence. Beau is right, people can be really creepy online. I think it is really important to disengage with those people who make you uncomfortable ASAP. It is really difficult for me sometimes to let go of wanting or hoping the best from people. But once someone has shown their true colors, there’s really no helping the situation. We don’t have the luxury of sitting down eye to eye, adult to adult and talking things out. We just have the tools we are given, text on a screen in most cases, and its not enough when you touch on emotional and touchy subjects.
The anonymity and safety of the internet can let people say things and cross lines they wouldn’t cross if we were all in the same room together.
Being willing to stand up and state “This is what I believe in, and to heck with the rest of you!” takes guts no matter what. That deserves respect from anyone, even the hardest and most cynical of critics.
Hopefully we’ll get to a point where whether I agree or disagree isn’t dependent upon one’s ability to support someone’s right to a particular point of view and opinion.
Until that time, there will always be people that will adopt a persona. For positive or negative. Sometimes it can be just a way to help illustrate the absurdity of a situation, event or even the seriousness given to a game.
What is sad is when people confuse the persona with the person. It’s not a “fault” thing. It’s just human nature. I find this all the time when people confuse the persona I’ve created with “Brigwyn” versus the person “Eddie.” And trust me, the two are polar opposites.
Why do this you might ask. It’s because it gives me the ability to take a concept to the extreme without it reflecting my personal or true opinion.s Often times to some obviously overly dramatic and obsurd degree.
Does it offend? Yes. But as you pointed out, sometimes offense can be used as a device that elicits a response. It doesn’t make it right or wrong, just another method. It’s that response that many people are counting on. Negative or Positive, the response validates that the approach worked.
One final thought, the constant references to something being a “Children’s game” isn’t truly accurate. Though it is marketed at teens or higher, there are many adult related themes within games today.
All in all, a very well thought post. I’m sure there will be some that take it personally and maybe that’s the intent. Me? It gave me food for thought and I guess in the grand scheme of things, that’s what blogging is all about.
Thanks!
The fake internet persona thing is a different topic. It’s all fine and good to have a persona you use. The super clean, never cursing person I was on Epic Dolls wasn’t the same as Leala at home. But when that persona is hateful, spiteful and is used to harass people you don’t know, there’s a problem with the man behind the curtain. And it’s a little nuts.
Heya Lela –
There’s one thing you could take it as. If someone feels the need to attack you personally, it must mean you’ve deeply affected them somehow. (You being a general you not you personally, though in the case related to this post it probably applies.) Right?
So it’s either a sarcastic nod of respect or response to some nerve being struck. Otherwise, why even respond at all?
All in all, I think that many people, good or bad, hold to the philosophy of “There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.” – Behan, Brendan.
I’ve said it before and will again. You guys got a special thing going. It’s your niche, you’re comfortable with it and have a supportive audience. Screw what the rest of us think. (Um.. that’s not to offensive I hope. lol)
Since I have been mentioned in this post I feel a need to defend myself. I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone. That at no time did I ever chat with anyone much less to anyone’s little girl. I only chat with my adult guild-mates in Vent. Beau you make me look like some kind of creepy child molester. I will be having some lawyer friends look at the post to see if I have a defamation of character suit against you.
Next WoW is not a child’s game. However those of us who actually play the game already know this.
Now the reason I am angry over this is I hate hypocrisy. Blizzard does nothing about the vile filth that goes on in open world channels and has in the game Hairs Piltons Portable Hole and I can’t have a character named “Mypenus”. This level of hypocrisy makes me want to break things. The next thing I get mad about are people who go around looking for a reason to be offended. People like this need to get a life and stop reporting people with silly harmless names.
The biggest thing I have figured out during all this. Is the reason why I still play this game. It’s not the game it’s the community of friends I have made. It’s the way the podcast community has welcomed and helped this self taught amateur. It’s getting to log onto Vent. and talk to and raid with people from all over the country and across the globe. If my friends said they wanted to play Star Trek Online. I would be the first to go.
1) Sue me? hehe You were the one playing a video game while breaking the EULA. Are you trying to say that you were not? Please show me where I am calling you a child molester. I am suggesting, rightly so, that if a parent found their child chatting in an online game that was made for “13 and above” with a character named “Mypenus” that they would have every right to be alarmed. Try and talk your way out of it all you want, but bring it up with Blizzard. It’s their rules. So please do not suggest doing something that we both know you will never ever do.
2) It is a childrens game. Just because you feel that playing a game that allows 13 years to play is not the same as a PG-13 movie and it’s restrictions, then you need to reconsider what you have just said.
Look man, you should just thank your luck that you got away with it while you can. The joke is over. Give it up. Bringing it up with me, someone that has nothing to do with you and someone that you are obviously reading wrong, is going to get you nowhere. You are just angry that you got caught.
Beau
Dan, no one was saying you were a child molester. The name was always against the EULA and whoever reported it was in their right. And as far as the bad stuff in general chat goes, two wrongs don’t make a right. Blizzard addresses what is reported to them, which I’m sure is an overwhelming job. The portable hole thing is a DnD reference anyway. If you wanna make it about something sexual that’s up to the individual, but there’s no question what “mypenus” means, that’s all.