Spouse Aggro

Well, I think my gut MUST be getting better, because I am so hungry most of the time that I am literally having dreams about food.

For the last 2 weeks now, I have been troubled by some kind of…something…troubling my gut. I work in a pretty ghetto pet store (not for long though, if the tests say I got something from there) and I wouldn’t be surprised if I had some kind of bug in my bellah, making me lose weight and feel a lil drained.

For the bulk of the last 2 weeks, though, I had no appetite. The little food I did eat didn’t quite uhm…come out right in the end, but I had no stomach pain, no pain at all, actually, and no discomfort. I went to the doctor after thinking it was something more than a passing something, and here I sit at 1:20 AM, waiting for this McDonalds Angus Burger and fries to kick me into high gear (if yaknowwhudimean.) I haven’t ate “junk food” for a long time before I started feeling this way, but at the point I am at, I feel that I just need to put something in my belly. (And we are out of groceries.)

I want to avoid too much fiber right now (you can guess why) and want to keep up with nutrients, but damn I lay there tonight DREAMING about a freaking cheeseburger.

If this meal doesn’t destroy me (as normally junky McDonalds would) then I know there are a host of little bugs eating away at mah innards.

The weirdest thing about all this is how I feel, and how hard it is to describe how I feel. I am hungry, but not. A little numb, (which feels good) but occasionally feel a little back pain. Today the “hunger pains” started, at least that’s what I think they are, a feeling that I literally had an empty spot in my belly. It wasn’t that I felt hungry, but literally empty, and that was a little alarming. To be perfectly honest, some of the numbness and fatigue that I feel is almost relaxing, like how having a flu can give you a sleepy, buzzed feeling.

But my thoughts about food are different, I can’t stop thinking about it, although before a few hours ago I didn’t feel hungry at all. While I want to get right back on our super healthy diet, I am afraid of the excess of fiber that would start pulling out the precious fluids I lost in the first place.

All in all, though, I am over this. I’m bored of it, and the last thing I want is to actually be ill. I hate to cause any stress to Leala, but she worries about me a great deal. I would almost rather her never know when I felt bad (which is very rare) than to cause her a little worry. But, she is my wife and we are in this together, and she is actually the strongest person I have ever met.

Anyway, I feel pretty good. No pain or rumblings from below, and the hole in my bellah feeling is gone (for now.) I should sleep on this lousy meal, but I have so much energy (while being a little numb…strange huh?) and wouldn’t mind playing something like Runescape or Free Realms.

Wish me luck, and send good vibes.

And don’t let yourself get something like what I have before you are thankful for not only the healthcare that you have, but for your clean water and access to clean food that we have. I can almost cry when I think about some poor kid, sitting there literally starving and feeling worse than I do. And within our own country, this land of milk and honey!! This shouldn’t happen to anyone, much less a child.

Goodnight, see ya tomorrow. Today. You know what I mean.

Beau